The Halfway Mark

Nearly the apex, vertex, zenith of the year. Or, for those pessimists among you, the nadir. Around noon, today, 1 July, is the halfway point (182 ½ days).

It used to be my anniversary. Funny, the things we remember ... the things that come to mind; thoughts unintentionally attached to other thoughts. I smile. And now, the cliché: I'm sad it's over, yes, but, also happy it happened; happy it was part of what has made me me.

Review of Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert

Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is an enjoyable book, at times laugh-aloud funny, but always serious. The topics he covers have been covered before, but I can't remember the last time I enjoyed reading about them so much.

Gilbert states that we often don't really know what makes us happy; that we often do things believing they will make us happy, but we misjudge because we base our future on the memories of our past. Often, those memories are unreliable. These thoughts aren't new, but the way Gilbert presents them is and it is worth the laughs you'll get to read them.

It did slow down a little toward the end, the density of the information building, but Gilbert does a good job of keeping it accessible and fun.

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Review of The Tools by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels

The Tools: Transform Your Problems into Courage, Confidence, and Creativity by Phil Stutz
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I am working through The Tools: 5 Tools to Help You Find Courage, Creativity, and Willpower--and Inspire You to Live Life in Forward Motion a second time. Initially, I thought that a lot of what Barry Michels and Phil Stutz teach here seems very New-Agey. After thinking about the Tools, I see that the Tools have cognates in Buddhism (esp. Tibetan Buddhism as it has come to North America). Active Love can easily be related to the practice of Tonglen: giving and receiving. A person first must receive love before it can be given.

Okay, you can say: "That isn't real, you're not really giving anything to anyone." I have to agree with that. I'm reminded of Elizabeth Gilbert and the "sending light and love" idea she writes about in Eat, Pray, Love. Even if you don't believe that you are sending actual love to someone, that is not the point. The point is: You are practicing loving that person; if you love someone, you have a harder time being angry (or sad, vindictive, or any other negative emotional state) toward/about that person. I have used Active Love more than any of the other Tools in this book and I can say that it has made it easier for me to stop renting space to those people who have "done me wrong." We often give too much thought to those people we dislike. I have no idea why. But, if you're like me, i.e. sick of doing that, then you'll read this book and use these tools to STOP DOING THAT!!!

What these tools do (only if you use them and use them use them) is give YOU more control over what YOU focus on. And, that is what the last tool focuses on: how to keep yourself using the tools. The authors say that these are not magic pills that you can use only once and then forget. Like anything that really matters, you will have to work at making the changes you want to make in your life.

Barry Michels writes that he was skeptical about the Tools initially, too, but that as he kept using them he realized how much they were helping him. Yes, there may be a time of uncomfortable repetition, but eventually the lack of faith is overcome by belief; and any self help program requires some degree of faith (in my humble opinion).

The authors recommend really sticking to the program, really giving it your all; they recommend not trying them once and then, immediately jumping on to another program and then, to another. As the writers argue is what is often done in consumerist societies: always looking for a magic pill, whether it's weight-loss, money-making, time-management, or whatever.

I have had some success with these tools. Does that mean that you'll have success with them? I have no idea. As usual, all I can say is: read it and use them and see for yourself.

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The Tools: 5 Tools to Help You Find Courage, Creativity, and Willpower--and Inspire You to Live Life in Forward Motion

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Review of Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Growth by Miguel Ruiz
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A simple, but not simplistic, twist on personal growth and self-help. Several times the author states that is takes a strong will to make and keep these four agreements. The beauty is that they are things that we should be doing anyway.

If you're interested in self-help, personal growth, or just plain, good wisdom, then I recommend this book. But, be careful: you may find yourself making some serious agreements with yourself that will change your life.

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Review of Devil's Highway

Devil's Highway by Luis Alberto Urrea
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

So many in the US complain about illegal immigrants, while forgetting that their ancestors once came to this country uninvited. And most of those who come, now, really don't want to; they have family back home and many of them can't find jobs, because the American corporations have pulled out and left few jobs and those that are available are worse than minimum wage here. Sadly, many of those who try to come to the US die in their search for a better life for them and their families.

This exposes the selfishness that often comes with abundance that many US citizens enjoy. All of us can gain perspective by thinking about the ordeals our ancestors went through so that we could enjoy freedom of religion and the abundance available in this country. And, in truth, there are people in this country who are so far from that abundance that they can't even afford to see it on TV. It's not helping them to keep the immigrants out. They don't have access to the jobs the immigrants are out for. The world is screwed up enough without our complaining about people trying for a better life. Many who complain, however, try to lump all illegal aliens into one group: drug and human traffickers.

I'm reminded of the way German-Americans, Japanese-Americans were treated during WWII, and the way many people of Middle Eastern descent were treated (are still?) after 9/11. It's fear--xenophobia! And it is sad and disgusting. Especially when it is those who are simply trying to pursue happiness or a little less sadness, or even a little more to feed, clothe and house their family.

These immigrants often die in a horrible way, crossing Hell trying to reach the Promised Land which despises them for no other reason than they aren't from here.

Yes, the drugs and crime are often part of it--but, NEWS FLASH! drugs and crime have been part of the culture of the US for a loooong time and it does NOT depend on illegal immigration to keep going.

This book gives names to a few of the hundreds that try to find a better life, it gives the outsider a view into the lives of the kinds of people they are, how they live, how they want what everyone wants: happiness and the chance to take care of their families. I can't imagine anything closer to Hell on Earth than what all these desperate men endured and what lead to many of them to their deaths. Luis Alberto Urrea also shows how our jobs are not really in danger of being all taken away by illegal immigrants; he gives the whole thing context in which to come to our own ideas about border crossing and immigration.

If you are interested in what goes on on the Mexican-American border; in what often happens to the people who try to cross into a better life; or in ways all this is handled by our respective governments, and what that means for citizens of both countries; this is a good read to has a few answers, while at the same time putting a face on the brave and desperate people.

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The Devil's Highway: A True Story

Thoughts on Vigilance Chapter of Dhammapada

“... the guard [their vigilance] as their greatest treasure.”

Dhammapada, vs. 26, trans. Eknath Easwaran

Diligence comes from the Latin verb diligere, meaning to love, to take delight in.  That isn’t the usual feeling I’ve had when thinking of diligence; my own thinking, and that of many people I have discussed this concept with, is of drudgery, hardship, sacrifice, etc…  But, thinking of diligence with its Latin etymology helps when it comes to cultivating Right Diligence (yes, that is one of the parts of the Noble Eight-Fold Path).  

It’s not a drudgery or a chore; it’s something delighted in.  This line of thought reminds me of Jesus’ “My yoke is easy, my burden in light” (Matt. 11.30).  In the Dhammapada chapter on vigilance, I see the connection between the two concepts: vigilance means to keep awake; diligence means to be careful and persistent, or assiduous.  They are brought together in earnestness (i.e. showing sincere and intense conviction).

The delight gives one conviction to stay awake.  This all leads to one guarding their conquest of the mind, of the four kinds of Mara1.  Without Right Diligence we will lack the earnestness to be vigilant.  

We awaken a little to realize that we need to awaken.  We have an instant of enlightenment to show us we are sitting in darkness.  This is beginner’s mind.  Without that “small” awakening we will not be aware that we are asleep.  Once we have that beginner’s mind we will delight in practice: we will fall in love with the Buddha we are to become.  Love will keep us on the path.  This is why last time I talked about love as being the only thing that will put an end to hatred.  Love is what gave the five “wise” virgins, of the Gospels, their wisdom, i.e. their vigilance.

If what you’re doing feels like a chore, a burden, a drudgery, then it will not be Right Diligence.  There must be and ease and a joy involved in the doing.  Verse 26 of the Dhammapada says, “... the wise guard it [vigilance, heedfulness] as their greatest treasure” (trans. Easwaran).  Treasure is something people love, otherwise it’s not treasure.  If you have trouble with your faith or practice, if they are bothersome, like something you don’t want to do but must, then those are not your treasure--they are your burden.

Think about it like this: people don’t love, don’t take great care, and don’t keep awake and guard a thing they don’t want.  They do those things for things they treasure--for treasure!  This is the reason Jesus said in Luke 12.34, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” The thing is: how do you change this?  How do you change what feels like a burden into a treasure?  Sometimes, you can’t, and in that case you have to accept the situation.  

You know the saying, “One person’s trash is another’s treasure”?  It has merit.  It may help to get a new perspective.  Try this: Make two columns on a piece of paper.  Then, write how you truly feel about the concept/practice that you consider a burden/a mere duty.  Then, in the second column, write down a different feeling--one you would rather have, would prefer to have.  Try something like: “I would prefer to see _________ as a splendid treasure instead of as a burden.”  Questions are powerful, so you can ask yourself, several times a day, something like: “Why is this belief/practice/concept/_______ a treasure to me?”  Have fun with it.  “Why is this _______ ‘my precious’?”  ;-)

It may be necessary to find a new practice--one that has ease, joy, peace and happiness in it.  It’s important to walk the Middle Way, i.e. not too tight, not too loose, but perfectly tuned to make the beautiful music of your life.

Once we have experienced the “small” awakening, we need vigilance to keep awake in order that we can walk the path to liberation, to freedom, to cessation of suffering.  Carry the treasure of vigilance with love and earnestness, with ease and joy, within your heart everywhere you go, every day of your life, every precious moment.

Peace! :-)


____________________

1. The four kinds of Mara: unwholesome mental factors, the Five Skandhas, death, and distractions.  For more on this, see: Thich Nhat Hanh, Awakening the Heart, note 75.

Review of Volume 1 of Modern Buddhism: The Path of Compassion and Wisdom

Modern Buddhism: The Path of Compassion and Wisdom - Volume 1 Sutra by Kelsang Gyatso
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is a good overview and practical manual for learning to walk the Buddhist path. It's similar to The Words of My Perfect Teacher: A Complete Translation of a Classic Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism (Sacred Literature Trust Series) , but this has more actual examples of meditations to use in daily practice.

(It is Volume 1 of 3, all of which were free on Amazon.com at the time I got my copy.)

If you are even a little interested in Buddhism in general, and/or Tibetan Buddhism in particular (esp. as it has evolved in our time and in the "West"), this is an excellent place to start.

It covers several levels, which I have only found similarly in the Dalai Lama's Becoming Enlightened . Here they are laid out in a way that was more clear to me.

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I Choose to Live in Happiness

Life is too short to get caught up in other peoples' negativity.  Someone will always try to make you feel inferior, to feel like a loser, to feel like you are stupid.  It is up to you to allow these things to make you feel inferior, or like a loser, or to feel stupid.  Your thoughts are what will make you feel positive or negative, angry or not.

You can control your mind and you can train it to be positive in the face of the barrage of negativity from those who believe they are better than you, but are in reality hypocrites, because they don't even live up to their own professed values that they accuse you of failing to live up to.  And, yes, I ended that sentence with a preposition!

I will be happy and I will win!  Happiness comes from within.  I choose to let that happiness have the prominent place in my life.

I will live in love and compassion.  I will help as many other people to find happiness as I am able.  I know that I will not, indeed: CANNOT, help everyone.  But, I will in all cases, be myself.  If you can handle that, I appreciate it; if you can't, I will do it anyway!

I choose a happy life! :-D

Peace!