Making a Life That Matters

Sometimes I wonder if my life simply matters because it is, or if I have to DO certain things: you know, achieve GREATNESS!!!: to make my life matter. 

I hold to the idea of a certain innate human importance: i.e. human beings matter simply because they are.  That’s not really what I’m talking about here; this isn’t one of the questions I’m asking of myself.

My question is more about life as it’s lived; the life situation (as Eckhart Tolle calls it).  You know: career, hobbies, exercise, learning, relationships.  What is really important?  What really matters?  Am I supposed to be happy with my life as it is, as many of the self-help gurus say?  Am I supposed to realize that I’m really deeply unhappy and so I have to DO all these special steps to find happiness?

When I read Cormac McCarthy’s The Road the first time, I immediately had an interpretation of the meaning of that book.  It was: The Road is about focusing on what’s important. 

Later, I arrived at more elaborate interpretations, but that initial focus on what’s important idea has stood the test of time.  For the man (in case you haven’t read it and plan to, I’ll try to keep the spoilers to a minimum) who unnamed, the boy is “what’s important.”  Everything in the story deals with keeping that boy alive, or to die trying.

Since reading that novel, I have often thought about my own children and how important they are to me.  I’ve thought about the other members of my family and how they are also important to me.  I look at what I have (of course, if someone else had what I have they may not experience gratitude, but rather despair) and am grateful. 

So, what is really important?  Air to breathe.  Water to drink.  Food.  A roof over my head.  All of those things are nice to have, esp. the three basic needs: and those are also covered in McCarthy’s book. 
Ultimately, what is the most important thing?  It’s not really a thing at all.

I read a lot of literature and it is important to me.  I often get very informative answers from literature, and mind-saving info, too.  There have been a number of times that I have read a certain passage from a novel or play or poem and it has given me a new perspective on life.

Yet, literature is not the most important thing, either.  Although literature often contains a portrayal of it, or an attempt at it. 

The most important thing is love.  There, I said it.  I’m not talking only about love between a man and woman, because that is only one narrow aspect of love and is often misunderstood (that’s the stuff for a-whole-nother post).  I’m talking about love that is willing to give itself completely.  Sometimes the love between a man and woman is like that, but more often that kind of love is the love of a parent for a child.  A love that would die, fight, scrape, do whatever to make sure that child is safe and will grow to be the best human being he or she can be.  That’s the kind of love I saw that the man had for his son in The Road.

So, what does that have to do with a life that matters?  Everything.  Everything and more.

Socrates supposedly said that the unexamined life is not worth living.  That may be true, or it may not.  But, if we don’t examine our lives we will have a difficult time building one that matters.  That’s not to say that we have to run off to every self-help seminar, or buy every book and CD/DVD program at the local bookstore on 23 Steps to Super-Over-Mega-Achieving Every Single Goal in Your Stupendous Mind, or something.  What it means is that we take stock.  We really look at what we believe about the important things.  We then have to get down to the real thing: What is really important?

Now, we’re right back where we were up there ^.  The important thing is love.  It’s important that we rebel against the “natural” instincts and that we love, have compassion for our fellow human beings.  If we can get to the level/degree of the love a parent has for a child (those few exceptions notwithstanding), that’s great.  The thing is, we have to begin.  We have to begin wherever we happen to be.  It’s like that old film says: “Baby steps.” 

This isn’t a command. I have no authority for such things.  From me, it’s just a suggestion and a thought about what’s important.  Now, if you happen to be Christian, then, you do have a command to love… Sorry, I can’t be held responsible for that. 

Joking aside, how much better would our world be if everyone just began to love one another a little more than they do now?  Just try to picture it.  Just try to imagine it.

I hope this doesn’t sound preachy.  That was/is not my intention.  I’m merely thinking aloud, so to speak, and hope that you will think along with me on this important issue.

Over the years I have walked many different paths: some exclusive, some inclusive.  Now, my heart is heavy because I miss people from all the different walks of life I have been in and as I age on the outward plane, I grow to realize the truly important thing can also be an urgent thing.  The trick, I think, is to not let it become an overwhelming thing.  People are important and relationships with people we care about are important.  Love is the most important thing.  It is the better thing. 

Please remember to tell the people who you find important, how important they are to you and how much you appreciate them. 

Now, say, “Yes, mother!” and go do it. :-)

Peace!

Review of Devil's Highway

Devil's Highway by Luis Alberto Urrea
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

So many in the US complain about illegal immigrants, while forgetting that their ancestors once came to this country uninvited. And most of those who come, now, really don't want to; they have family back home and many of them can't find jobs, because the American corporations have pulled out and left few jobs and those that are available are worse than minimum wage here. Sadly, many of those who try to come to the US die in their search for a better life for them and their families.

This exposes the selfishness that often comes with abundance that many US citizens enjoy. All of us can gain perspective by thinking about the ordeals our ancestors went through so that we could enjoy freedom of religion and the abundance available in this country. And, in truth, there are people in this country who are so far from that abundance that they can't even afford to see it on TV. It's not helping them to keep the immigrants out. They don't have access to the jobs the immigrants are out for. The world is screwed up enough without our complaining about people trying for a better life. Many who complain, however, try to lump all illegal aliens into one group: drug and human traffickers.

I'm reminded of the way German-Americans, Japanese-Americans were treated during WWII, and the way many people of Middle Eastern descent were treated (are still?) after 9/11. It's fear--xenophobia! And it is sad and disgusting. Especially when it is those who are simply trying to pursue happiness or a little less sadness, or even a little more to feed, clothe and house their family.

These immigrants often die in a horrible way, crossing Hell trying to reach the Promised Land which despises them for no other reason than they aren't from here.

Yes, the drugs and crime are often part of it--but, NEWS FLASH! drugs and crime have been part of the culture of the US for a loooong time and it does NOT depend on illegal immigration to keep going.

This book gives names to a few of the hundreds that try to find a better life, it gives the outsider a view into the lives of the kinds of people they are, how they live, how they want what everyone wants: happiness and the chance to take care of their families. I can't imagine anything closer to Hell on Earth than what all these desperate men endured and what lead to many of them to their deaths. Luis Alberto Urrea also shows how our jobs are not really in danger of being all taken away by illegal immigrants; he gives the whole thing context in which to come to our own ideas about border crossing and immigration.

If you are interested in what goes on on the Mexican-American border; in what often happens to the people who try to cross into a better life; or in ways all this is handled by our respective governments, and what that means for citizens of both countries; this is a good read to has a few answers, while at the same time putting a face on the brave and desperate people.

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Review of This Dark Road to Mercy

This Dark Road to Mercy by Wiley Cash
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Wiley Cash has a strong voice. The writing is tight and Cash draws the reader in with the well-written characters.

A few reviewers have compared Cash to other Southern writers, such as Harper Lee. I don't see the resemblance beyond the setting being in the South, and young female characters and their fathers; there, Cash just sorta leaves Lee in the dust of an old dirt road and I for one could not see her when I looked backed--for all the dust, ya know!

There was also mention of Elmore Leonard and Cormac McCarthy. I would agree here, to a certain extent. But, the resemblance isn't because Cash sounds like an imitation of those writers, it's the rawness one senses behind the words, the darkness that is always there no matter how bright and hot the summer day is being described in the work. No, Cash has his own voice and it's strong and smooth like a shot of good Southern Whiskey: it hits you before you realize you've finished the drink. Yeah, that smooth. It's a voice telling powerful stories.

I think I have found another author to add to my favorites, another author that makes me glad I'm a reader and jealous that I ain't that writer! This book was on my to-read-again list before I even finished the first read. I caught the Icantputitdownitis right away, and only stopped reading when my eyes were no longer able to remain open.

One of the things that I enjoyed, apart from the voice, characters and diction, is the way the book is organized: e.g. chapters are told from different characters' POVs. There were no parts of this book that seemed out of place or unnecessary. It all fits.

I can't wait to devour more of Wiley Cash's work and will keep my eyes out for any new work.

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This Dark Road to Mercy: A Novel

Don't Let This One Pass You By Unread

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is one of the funniest books I have ever read/listened to, but it also has sad moments. I won't recommend listening to it while driving, as I did... I do recommend listening, however, because it is read by Alexie with all the pronunciations and accents of the reservation. A truly great, truly human book.

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A Heartbreaking Read...

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Maybe if I had read it, instead of listening to the audio-book, it would have been better. But, reading through the other reviews ... probably not.

I really don't get how this can be recommended to me because I loved Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace. They are nothing alike, in my humble opinion....

The parts that should have been sad, were presented as if to make the reader laugh. I didn't like that.

I can't really totally let this go, however. I hated The Waste Land for first 15 times I read it, too. It still isn't my favorite poem, but it has made into my definitely worth reading list, so.... maybe there's hope for A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

I'll keep ya posted, just in case you care....

Just for the record, I do like Dion Graham's reading voice. I think I listened at the wrong time, like I was not in the right place at the right time sorta thing. I'm about to read it (the actual paperback this time). So, this review may change.

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