Making a Life That Matters

Sometimes I wonder if my life simply matters because it is, or if I have to DO certain things: you know, achieve GREATNESS!!!: to make my life matter. 

I hold to the idea of a certain innate human importance: i.e. human beings matter simply because they are.  That’s not really what I’m talking about here; this isn’t one of the questions I’m asking of myself.

My question is more about life as it’s lived; the life situation (as Eckhart Tolle calls it).  You know: career, hobbies, exercise, learning, relationships.  What is really important?  What really matters?  Am I supposed to be happy with my life as it is, as many of the self-help gurus say?  Am I supposed to realize that I’m really deeply unhappy and so I have to DO all these special steps to find happiness?

When I read Cormac McCarthy’s The Road the first time, I immediately had an interpretation of the meaning of that book.  It was: The Road is about focusing on what’s important. 

Later, I arrived at more elaborate interpretations, but that initial focus on what’s important idea has stood the test of time.  For the man (in case you haven’t read it and plan to, I’ll try to keep the spoilers to a minimum) who unnamed, the boy is “what’s important.”  Everything in the story deals with keeping that boy alive, or to die trying.

Since reading that novel, I have often thought about my own children and how important they are to me.  I’ve thought about the other members of my family and how they are also important to me.  I look at what I have (of course, if someone else had what I have they may not experience gratitude, but rather despair) and am grateful. 

So, what is really important?  Air to breathe.  Water to drink.  Food.  A roof over my head.  All of those things are nice to have, esp. the three basic needs: and those are also covered in McCarthy’s book. 
Ultimately, what is the most important thing?  It’s not really a thing at all.

I read a lot of literature and it is important to me.  I often get very informative answers from literature, and mind-saving info, too.  There have been a number of times that I have read a certain passage from a novel or play or poem and it has given me a new perspective on life.

Yet, literature is not the most important thing, either.  Although literature often contains a portrayal of it, or an attempt at it. 

The most important thing is love.  There, I said it.  I’m not talking only about love between a man and woman, because that is only one narrow aspect of love and is often misunderstood (that’s the stuff for a-whole-nother post).  I’m talking about love that is willing to give itself completely.  Sometimes the love between a man and woman is like that, but more often that kind of love is the love of a parent for a child.  A love that would die, fight, scrape, do whatever to make sure that child is safe and will grow to be the best human being he or she can be.  That’s the kind of love I saw that the man had for his son in The Road.

So, what does that have to do with a life that matters?  Everything.  Everything and more.

Socrates supposedly said that the unexamined life is not worth living.  That may be true, or it may not.  But, if we don’t examine our lives we will have a difficult time building one that matters.  That’s not to say that we have to run off to every self-help seminar, or buy every book and CD/DVD program at the local bookstore on 23 Steps to Super-Over-Mega-Achieving Every Single Goal in Your Stupendous Mind, or something.  What it means is that we take stock.  We really look at what we believe about the important things.  We then have to get down to the real thing: What is really important?

Now, we’re right back where we were up there ^.  The important thing is love.  It’s important that we rebel against the “natural” instincts and that we love, have compassion for our fellow human beings.  If we can get to the level/degree of the love a parent has for a child (those few exceptions notwithstanding), that’s great.  The thing is, we have to begin.  We have to begin wherever we happen to be.  It’s like that old film says: “Baby steps.” 

This isn’t a command. I have no authority for such things.  From me, it’s just a suggestion and a thought about what’s important.  Now, if you happen to be Christian, then, you do have a command to love… Sorry, I can’t be held responsible for that. 

Joking aside, how much better would our world be if everyone just began to love one another a little more than they do now?  Just try to picture it.  Just try to imagine it.

I hope this doesn’t sound preachy.  That was/is not my intention.  I’m merely thinking aloud, so to speak, and hope that you will think along with me on this important issue.

Over the years I have walked many different paths: some exclusive, some inclusive.  Now, my heart is heavy because I miss people from all the different walks of life I have been in and as I age on the outward plane, I grow to realize the truly important thing can also be an urgent thing.  The trick, I think, is to not let it become an overwhelming thing.  People are important and relationships with people we care about are important.  Love is the most important thing.  It is the better thing. 

Please remember to tell the people who you find important, how important they are to you and how much you appreciate them. 

Now, say, “Yes, mother!” and go do it. :-)

Peace!

Review of The Devil All the Time by Donald Ray Pollock

The Devil All the Time by Donald Ray Pollock
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Many times while reading The Devil All the Time I thought of Flannery O'Connor, especially her "A Good Man is Hard to Find." Also, a couple of times Joyce Carol Oates's short story, "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" came to mind. Both excellent stories, and I recommend them highly if you like The Devil All the Time. It's not so much in the way Pollock writes, he's not a copy cat, but has his own style and voice. It's more the content that reminds me of those other stories.
The novel follows the life of Arvin Russell: beginning with him and ending with him. The other characters, though initially seeming to have nothing to do with Arvin, all slowly become part of his story. I got the feeling of a drain swirling, with whatever is caught in that whirlpool moving ever closer to the center; in this case the center is Arvin. The characters are well written and the tension is pretty good and the chapters are fairly short: which means "I can get one more chapter in before I go to sleep." Then, four chapters later, I actually close the book. It kept me interested.
Pollock's novel is set in and around Knockemstiff, Ohio, which was new to me. And some of the description reminded me of Cormac McCarthy's novels set in Tennessee, especially the shorter ones, like Orchard Keeper, Outer Dark, and Child of God.
I stumbled onto Donald Ray Pollock during some research for another author. I found that Pollock had won several awards and honors for his work and decided I would read something by him. I was not disappointed.
If you like the stories mentioned above, or other stories, such as The Wettest County in the World by Matt Bondurant (recently adapted into the film Lawless), or Faulkner or McCarthy, then I would recommend The Devil All the Time. Now, that's not to say that if you don't like any of those I have mentioned, you won't like this book. The best I can say is: read it and see for yourself.


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Review of Cormac McCarthy's Child of God

Child of God by Cormac McCarthy
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Coming to this book, I knew only that the main character, Lester Ballard, had some strange ways, but I didn't know how strange until several chapters into the book. It is an interesting read; McCarthy has a way of making it seem dream-like: broken up, but still flowing together. I'm not sure that makes sense, but that's how it reads to me. He kept the chapters short, most being only a single scene: some shorter, some longer. The short chapters coupled with Lester's bizarre behavior keeps you turning the pages, not to mention the "need" to know what happens....

There is a strong link to mythology in most of McCarthy's work and this book is no different. There are trips to the underworld, shape-shifting and tragedy among other motifs.

Without giving away too much, I will say that this book is not for the faint of heart. If Nabokov's Lolita bothers you, then there is a possibility that this will, too. It isn't exactly the same as Lolita , but the deviance of Lester, the main character, is very pronounced as is that of Humbert Humbert. But, in the case of Child of God, Lester is not the narrator.

I wonder if you could still call Lester a protagonist? He does change, but not much. The reader gets the sense that he is depraved right from the beginning. It's the level, or depth, of his depravity that changes.

The writing itself will not disappoint fans of McCarthy. His prose, as always, is tight and musical; the critics like to call it poetic, which it is. It damn near sings. I give it four stars simply for the prose. The content gives me pause; that's not to say that we should ignore it, it's just more unsettling than a book with a happy-go-lucky attitude and a bright happy ending. McCarthy almost never has happy endings and this is no exception. He does have "just" endings on occasion, or endings in which those who deserve it get it, if you get my drift.

I will read it again, simply because I love McCarthy's writing and want to learn from him. If I were reading it as a reader only, once would be enough--maybe more than enough.

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