Well, I really got into studying the Bible for a while (I
mean minutely). I had always heard about
contradictions, but had also heard that those could be explained away. Well, I cannot see how they can be. After going through a time of agnosticism, I
eventually came to atheism. I really
believe that there is no god other than those made up by the human mind and
changed to fit the current need of humans.
One of the first steps I came to, when I was looking at the Bible
closely was: if "God is love", then he has a strange way of showing
it.
Then, I began to look at the world around me and think about
it in terms of this god. If he truly
loves humans, then why does he let them suffer?
If he can do nothing about it, then he is not almighty, and so, not a
god. If he can do something and chooses
to do nothing, then he is wicked. So,
either this god is 1) impotent rather than omnipotent or 2) a masochistic fiend
worse than any devil in his Hell or 3) (and most likely) he is imaginary.
I decided from what I saw and experienced that he was
imaginary just like Zeus, Odin, Jupiter, et al.
And so came to atheism. This is
just my choice. I’m not a zealous,
militant atheist like some that are out there.
I simply made my choice and am living accordingly. I don’t party, I don’t steal, or kill or any
of those things that are called sin. I
simply live by a set of morals and ethics that I have inside of me
naturally. Partly, I observe the Golden
Rule, which by the way, is much older than Christianity. Because of this, I cannot and do not judge
other people, nor do I let them judge me.
I have no guilt, because I am not a sinner, I am a human being. And if I do “wrong”, it is my choice and my
responsibility. The responsibility does
not fall on my parents, grandparents, a god, a demon, or anyone else. It is mine.
If the wrong happens to be against the law, then I might have to pay by
going to prison, but that is not something I think will happen, because I
generally abide by the laws of the land.
During my agnostic phase, I thought a lot about human
inability to prove that a god does or does not exist. I cannot prove that he doesn't and someone
that believes he does cannot prove that he does. All the experiences are subjective,
personal. What I find interesting is
that most religions have these same kinds of personal experiences to
"prove" the existence of their deity/deities. The similarities between the Bible and so
many other mythologies is just icing on the cake, so to speak. It was the Bible itself (along with what I
could--and could not--see for myself in the world) that turned me away.
I'm still interested in the myths (including the
Judeo-Christian one), mostly because of their influence on literature. And I use myth in its denotative
meaning. That is, according to Joseph
Campbell, all myths are true in their contexts.
So, there are "truths" (though not absolute) that can be taken
from all mythologies, and it is often these truths that are borrowed from one
and passed on to another; or truths that are represented by the metaphors,
symbols and themes in the myths. Death,
burial, and resurrection, for example, are simply references to nature and
agriculture. Jesus even is quoted as
saying, "Unless a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth
alone, but if it die it beareth much fruit." While this, of course refers to himself as a
fertility god, it also refers to plant life.
Those themes only came into the mythologies once the people who believed
them were agrarian. Those themes do not
work as well for hunter/gatherers. They
had a completely different set of myths based on a completely different set of
truths, or ideologies.
